A Different Medicine For Men & Women
A friend was taking an evening class at Stanford. The last lecture was on the mind-body connection–the relationship between stress and disease. The speaker (head of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things one of the best things a woman can do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends. At first everyone laughed, but he was serious?
Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality “girlfriend time” helps us to create more serotonin–a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well-being.
We share from our souls with our sisters, and evidently that is very good for our health. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym??
There’s a tendency to think that when we are “exercising” we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged–not true. In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking! So every time you hang out to schmooze with a gal pal, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health!
In contrast one of the best medicines a man can treat himself with to attain good health, is a wife. A wife brings to a man usually more than either of them fully understands. She brings a rest to his need to hunt, attain and attract. She brings a security that meets his emotional needs and physical needs to connect. For men sexuality means far more than a physical release. It means connecting at such an intimate level that if they could speak freely about their emotions they would become poets and songwriters. A great marriage means to a man that all is well. His wife is his best friend.
Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities. They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel about certain things or how their personal lives are going. Jobs? Yes. Sports? Yes. Cars? Yes. Fishing, hunting, golf… Yes. But their feelings… rarely!
Women do it all of the time. What does this mean? When men are vulnerable and open up emotionally and love their women, they in a sense are putting all their eggs in one basket. If their wife is happy they tend to be happy. When a man’s marriage is working well, work can be falling apart but life is still manageable. A great marriage with a great sex life translates for men into a tonic for stress like no other.
Men, this is a reason why it is in your health’s best interest for you to do your part to keep you marriage on sound footing. Invest in your marriage relationship. Women make sure your girl-time and husband time is not crowded out by kid time.
Director of The Bayridge Family Center
Lynne Fenton , B.A. (Psychology), MDiv (Counselling)
Therapist – Adolescent and Individual Therapy