Some couples are nervous when they first come to therapy because they are not sure what to expect. They want to know if it will work, how long it will take and many other questions. Here are 4 ways couple counselling can help your relationship.
Let’s be honest. Sometimes it’s very difficult to work through conflict because we get so caught up in the emotion of the situation that we are unable to see our partner’s point of view or even come to some sort of compromise. Also, when we talk to our friends about our problems they tend to side with us and tell us what we want to hear. It’s helpful to have a caring, warm, trained ear to listen and help you work through your difficulties.
Sometimes we aren’t aware of the things we do that hurt our partner for various reasons. A couples counsellor can help you both look in the mirror and see the things that you are doing that have the potential to drive you apart.
We all have different styles of communication, gender differences, personality traits and upbringing that affect how we talk and act toward our partners. A couple counsellor is trained to understand these differences and can help you understand the unique way that both you and your partner communicate. An important aspect of couple counselling is gaining an understanding of the ways you both give and receive love.
Historically, the focus of couple counselling has been on helping couples work through problems, but there has been a greater focus in recent years on helping couples move to points of greater relational health. Premarital counselling and marriage enrichment are great proactive approaches to work on your relationship. Unfortunately, too often we accept mediocrity in our relationships, and then we wake up one day and our relationship is not what we hoped for. Think of it like your vehicle. You can do regular maintenance like oil changes that keep it running smoothly, or you can put it off until later when even larger problems arise. The same is true of your relationship. It requires constant work and attention, and a couple therapist can give you a tune up in ways that you couldn’t do on your own.