No partner gets into a relationship looking to be separated. No spouse gets married looking for a divorce. Why do, these outcomes happen, one may ask? Of course, there are a number of reasons why couples do not stay in relationships. Even fewer are successful in their marriages.
In my humble assessment, there are four pillars or tips that couples can use to sustain their relationship and live an enriched married life.
Four Tips for couples to enrich their relationships are as follows.
1 Spend Quality time. Do things together. Be it being in the same room, or doing common outdoor activities. Spending time together creates a bond and friendship. If you remember, your relationship was built on the foundation of companionship. This is what all “good dates” start of achieving. Continue to organise “date nights” all through your marriage.
2 Communicate deep feelings. Expressing feelings is the juice of every relationship. Partners need to express their feelings. Complex serious topics of discussions and true feelings, when not discussed have the potential to keep partners apart, frustrated, angry and distant from each other. One is encouraged to talk about disappointments, finance, sex, decision making, parenting, housekeeping and the list goes on. Communicating is the key.
3 Create belonging. A sense of “you are my girlfriend or woman”, “I am your boyfriend or man” is essential for any relationship. Creating trust, honesty and counting on your spouse is important in creating that sense of belonging. It is more than a safety net, knowing that your partner has your back. You can rely on your spouse. Creating security and comfort between partners creates trust and a sense of belonging which increases trust.
4 Support your partner to succeed. Support and encouragement are the key pillars for self-actualisation within a relationship. Assisting your partner in baking bread or being a CEO of a company helps the marriage to succeed. Enhancing the”ME” in every “WE” is vital and helps partners to succeed. The success of partnerships relies on each partner excelling and succeeding. Continue supporting your partner to self-actualise.
Along with the above four pillars for couples to enrich their marriages, partners need a daily dose of vitamin A, 365 days of the year. Showing your partner, Attention, Affection and Appreciation on a daily basis is important. This dose of Vitamin A creates only positive side effects. Try this daily and see the difference in your relationship.
Call Julian D’Souza rsw msw for relationship and couples counselling. Julian, uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Emotional Focus Therapy (EFT), Transactional Analysis (TA) and Systems Analysis to help couples enrich their relationship. You can also contact Bayridge Counselling Centres for more info.