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I believe you even if you have no physical bruises, photos, or evidence. Even if the police disregard your story, or probe you with more and more questions; I believe you.
Even if your assailant was not held accountable. I know you are telling the truth and I am here to listen to you without judgment. You deserve the most pure and authentic kind of love--self-love.
You deserve loving, healthy relationships with every person who is in your life. You are strong and you inspire me you get up and you fight every day to exist. Even in the midst of these feelings, try and remind yourself how brave you are for taking that first step toward taking care of yourself and reaching out for support.
There were a lot of forces working against you to hold you back from taking that step--the fact that you did it is a testament to your courage and strength.
That courage is still inside you; no matter what response you received when you reached out."
It may include a single act of violence, or a number of acts forming a pattern of abuse through the use of assaultive and controlling behaviour. This includes any behaviour that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound someone.
Domestic Abuse a serious national problem that knows no racial, religious, cultural or economic boundaries. Victims can be of any age, race, sexual orientation, gender, be dating, married or not married and represent a variety of socio-economic backgrounds and education levels. Although domestic abuse affects women, men, children and elders, women are most often the victims.
Mental refers to the mind or the intellect. Mental abuse results in impairing the mental life and impeding mental development. “Majority of research identifies things like “intelligence, memory, recognition, perception, attention, imagination, and moral development” as part of “the mental life.”
Perhaps it is best to understand the meaning of Mental Abuse by first defining the term ‘Mental.’ The dictionary defines Mental as something pertaining to the mind or relating to the mind. As we are all well aware, the mind is the faculty by which we form our thoughts and/or opinions. Mental Abuse, therefore, refers to a disturbance of the mind, or in simpler terms, a damaged mind. This means that the general sanity and stability of a person’s mind has been disturbed or damaged. Such a state occurs due to continuous, excessive, abusive behaviour that may take several forms including verbal abuse (shouting, name-calling and blaming), neglect, isolation, humiliation, intimidation and/or domination. This type of conduct typically exposes a person to constant negativity and results in the creation of negative thoughts. If the abuse continues, such negative thoughts fester over time, increase and become a part of the person’s belief. Mental abuse interferes with cognitive development (i.e., how we learn, remember, solve problems, make associations between things, etc.).
The distinction between Mental and Emotional Abuse is indeed subtle. The best way to distinguish them is to think of Mental Abuse as abusive behaviour that damages a person’s mind, and Emotional Abuse as behaviour that damages a person’s emotions.
Emotionally abusive behaviour ranges from verbal abuse (belittling, berating, constant criticism) to more subtle tactics like intimidation, manipulation, and refusal to be pleased. Emotional abuse is not only made of negative behaviours but negative attitudes. There are some types of physical behaviours that can be considered emotional abuse. These behaviours are referred to as symbolic abuse. This includes intimidating behaviour such as slamming doors, kicking a wall, throwing dishes, furniture or any objects and destroying or threatening to destroy objects that the victim values.
Milder forms emotional abuse is shaking a fist or finger, threatening gestures or faces or acting like he or she want to kill the victim. Research indicates the consequences of emotional abuse is more harmful than physical abuse and has an adverse affect on your mental health and well-being. Emotional abuse tends to happen every day. The effects are more harmful because they're so frequent. Emotionally abusive relationships can destroy your self-worth, lead to anxiety and depression, and make you feel helpless and alone (healhguide.org).
People presume that if you have not been physically abused, then you are not experiencing domestic abuse. Domestic abuse is defined as a pattern of power and control in a relationship. "A person can try to take power or control over another person in a lot of different ways that aren't physical, and still could be controlling that individual“.
There is a whole list of abusive behaviours and attitudes that would fall under the umbrella of domestic abuse, and being able to spot them is key to prevention. For example, physical abuse happens when your partner:
There is a whole list of abusive behaviours and attitudes that would fall under the umbrella of domestic abuse, and being able to spot them is key to prevention.
If you've endured life with an abusive partner, it was not your fault. Maybe there were red flags and warning signs, and maybe there weren't. But many survivors agree that, upon looking back, they can see some of those early signs of abuse standing out in a way they didn't when the abuser first appeared in their life.
The following are some indicators of potentially abusive partners. These red flags are just that—warning signs that are worth looking out for and paying attention to. Here are some signs that may help you decide if you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship.
Here some signs that may help you decide if you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship.
The short answer is this: he thinks it’s okay, he rarely suffers a negative consequence, and it gets him what he wants, like attention and being catered to. For the long answer, read Lundy Bancroft’s book on how abusive men think. Please see a link to her website below for more info.
Here are some character traits common in men ordered into treatment for abuse. Not all men display all characteristics, but these are some of the fairly common ones. (Lundy Bancroft (2002). Why Does He Do that? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men. Berkley Books)
Counseling, therapy, and support groups for domestic abuse can help you process what you’ve been through or what you are going and learn how to take the steps to heal toward healthy change.
We have been serving the Golden Horseshoe region for more than 25 years. Our team is composed of medical doctors, psychologists, marriage and family therapists, psychotherapists, addiction specialists, child and adolescent counsellors, coaches and mood disorder specialists. We also offer spiritual-based counselling with multi-faith, multicultural therapists.