As a parent, I encourage you to take a look at your child’s behaviour and wonder how much you contributed to the tension – to their struggle. To the ongoing alienation they experience perhaps? It always takes two people to argue, and so often we forget that we can perpetuate these arguments by our own sense that we are entitled because we are the parent.
There are lots of factors to consider when we have ongoing conflicts at home. Are there any intellectual disabilities? Mental Illness? Divorce? Bullying? These issues can be silent witnesses to our conflict. It is important as a parent to be able to talk and communicate effectively. Sometimes we need to be an observer, sometimes an advisor, sometimes a negotiator and sometimes a director.
Learning when to play each of these roles can be difficult. A therapist can help you distinguish these roles and make them real in your family.