Children & Divorce
Child Divorce Counselling
When a child feels caught between two parents they love, a neutral third person gives them somewhere to put it.
Helping a child through a parents' divorce
What a child going through divorce may experience
A child of divorcing parents often experiences “split loyalties”: feeling caught between two people they love, even when neither parent means to put them in that position. This can show up as changes in sleep or eating, increased anger, anxiety, low mood, or withdrawal. The more conflict a child witnesses between parents, the more of this emotional strain they tend to carry.
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Why a neutral space helps a child process divorce
A therapist gives a child a safe, neutral space outside the family to process what’s happening, separate from either parent’s version of events. This matters because children are often more aware of tension than parents realize, and they benefit from an outside person helping them make sense of confusing, painful feelings (guilt, shame, anger) without having to manage a parent’s emotions at the same time.
Part of our wider work on Separation & Divorce Counselling.
You might recognize some of this
You can start where you are.
- Difficulty sleeping
- Changes in eating patterns
- Increased anger or irritability
- Anxiety or new worries
- Signs of depression or low mood
- Withdrawing or isolating
- Feeling caught between parents
This is a description of experiences, not a self-diagnosis checklist.
It may be time to talk to someone
You don't need to be in crisis to deserve support.
Consider reaching out if:
- Your child's sleep or eating habits have changed since the separation
- They seem more anxious, angry, or withdrawn than usual
- They seem to be struggling with divided loyalty between parents
- You're not sure how to talk with them about what's happening
- Behaviour at school or with friends has shifted noticeably
You don't need the right words for the divorce before getting your child some support.
Approaches a therapist may draw on
We match the approach to you, not the other way around. Your therapist may draw on one or several, depending on what fits.
Help a child name the feelings that come with family change.
Helps a child name and work through the difficult emotions that come with family change, in age-appropriate ways.
Therapists who work this way: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)A way to express confusing feelings without words.
Gives a child a way to express and process confusing feelings about the divorce without needing to put them into words.
Therapists who work this way: Play TherapyA therapist who fits your situation
Our registered therapists have real experience helping people through what you are facing.
Dr. Cathryn Harris
Registered Psychologist
PhD, C.Psych.
Couples, Families, Individuals
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Rev. Chad Tomlinson
Registered Psychotherapist
MTS, MEd, MA, OCT, RP
Couples, Families, Individuals
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Dan Watterworth
Registered Psychotherapist
BTh, MDiv, RP
Couples, Families, Individuals
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Gretchen Savery
Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
MA, BA, RP (Qualifying)
Families, Individuals
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Lisa Bynoe-Stevens
Registered Psychotherapist
BASc, MDiv, CSFT, RP
Couples, Families, Individuals
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Michelle Hodgson
Registered Social Worker
SSW, BA, BSW, MSW, RSW
Couples, Families, Individuals
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Michelle Pennells
Counsellor and Art Therapist
HBA, DTATI (Thesis Pending)
Families, Individuals
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Common questions
It helps to have the conversation together with both parents present, in a calm and honest way. The most important message is that the decision has nothing to do with them. A therapist can help guide these conversations if they feel too difficult to navigate alone.
A child's anger is often their way of trying to make things feel normal again. Responding with patience rather than reactivity, and understanding how hard it is for a child to have their sense of security split, makes a real difference.
Every family's situation is different. What matters most is having honest, age-appropriate conversations and making sure the child knows the divorce isn't their fault.
It's a difficult life event, and it can be painful. Most children get through it without lasting harm when it's handled thoughtfully and they have support to process what's happening.
Watch for changes in sleep, appetite, mood, anger, anxiety, or withdrawal. Checking in regularly and considering outside support can help.
Care you can lean on
Sessions with our registered therapists are covered by most extended health and workplace benefit plans. Not sure what yours includes? We're happy to help you check before you book.
Sessions start at $90 and vary by therapist. Not sure where to begin? Our Intake Specialists can talk through fees, coverage, and which therapist fits what you are facing. Call (905) 319-1488 during business hours.
Ready when you are. We're here to listen.
Browse our registered therapists and reach out when you're ready. We'll usually reply within one business day.