History repeats itself because it seems to swing from generation to generation in a pendulum motion. Good parenting eliminates the extremes. Parents who are too strict or too lenient are increasing the risk of reactions. A financial planner tries to take the risk out of the volatility of the market by creating a ‘Balanced Fund’. Seasoned investors understand that good financial investment is diversified.
Good parenting in like manner is not willing to risk their children with extremes. The challenge comes in our reactions to our own childhood experience. If our parents were extremely religiously strict, a parent may react, charting a course for their children of friendship with very little boundaries & instruction.
In contrast, if one experienced very little mentorship, we might be tempted to swing into control or rigidity. The fact is that good parenting requires us to be proficient at a number of skill sets.
Some of the skills needed for good parenting are:
- Good clean and clear communication skills
- Problem solving skills
- Establishing & keeping boundaries
- Proactive not reactive
- Organizational skills
- Emotionally present
- Self- caring
- Assertive, not aggressive, not passive
- Friendly without just being a friend
- Create an atmosphere of belonging
- Celebrate individuality
- Celebrate respect for self and others
A job that most of us would not have qualified for, yet most of us find ourselves doing.
Remember that you are not alone, and there are excellent resources out there to develop all of the above skills. Keep learning and living and keep your balance.
Dr. Kim Christink