The holidays are supposed to be fun, exciting and a wonderful time of the year to celebrate with friends and family. Yet for those of us, who recently got divorced and have children, celebrating the holidays this year may not be as fun or exciting as it was when we were still married. You may have created your own traditions as a family while you were married.
Following these traditions after your divorce can seem pointless if you no longer find happiness or joy in them. However your kids may expect these traditions as part of their holiday celebration. This is where things can become even more complicated for divorced parents.
How do you celebrate the holidays when you may not even have access or visitation on Christmas? If you are the custodial parent, do you make an exception and allow the children’s other parent some time with their kids on Christmas Day? What do you about holiday gatherings where you and your ex-spouse are both invited to attend?
As you can see, these are just some of the many challenges recently divorced couples have to address as they prepare for the holidays. In cases where you and your ex are amicable towards each other, working through the finer details may not be an issue. You could be perfectly willing to allow them to show up on Christmas Morning, so everyone can celebrate the holiday as a family.
However, if you cannot get along with your ex, then inviting them over for a family Christmas could be disastrous for you and your children. They may even object to any type of arrangements you are suggesting and become overly demanding about when they want the kids, even if they have no legal basis to demand such things.
Since emotions can run higher as we look forward to the holiday season, it can be beneficial to have someone to turn to for support and guidance. You could still have strong emotions you have not fully dealt with about your divorce, such as anger and resentment or even depression. Working through these unresolved feelings is essential in order for you to start to look forward to the holiday season and the happiness it brings.
You also need to remember that while this year things can seem less joyous or happy than previous years, things will get better. With the right counselling and support, who knows? You may find yourself looking forward to the holidays even more next year as a divorced parent.
Whether you are struggling with communicating with your ex-spouse, having parenting issues with your children, or simply want someone to talk about unresolved feelings relating to your divorce, in a caring and safe environment about, please feel free to contact Bayridge Counselling Centres at 905-319-1488 today!