Some marriages end suddenly and some seem to grow apart over years. No matter what the cause or how the marriage fails, you are likely to experience very intense emotions from sadness to anger to hurt. There is confusion and sometimes panic as you scramble to secure your uncertain future. Often you will experience feelings of failure and insecurity.
This is a transition of great difficulty.
Within difficult transitions we are the most vulnerable to making our greatest mistakes. How you choose to handle this period of separation will affect the rest of your life. I encourage you to learn to process the pain and allow it to lead you to lessons of growth and maturity. You can let this be a stepping stone instead of a millstone around your neck. In contrast, if you allow the pain to fester into bitterness you will find that it will infect your relationships moving forward.
Many people have gone through separation and divorce but yours is unique to you. Be careful not to isolate yourself. Surround yourself with supportive people. Be careful not to bring the family in too close to the details of the situation. Let them be family but don’t make them your counsellor; it could backfire on you.
Get professional help when you need it!
You will face legal and emotional problems with separation and divorce, and you will probably need professional help. For legal matters, seek the help of a lawyer. If you are experiencing severe emotional stress, that’s where we come in. Bayridge Family Center has excellent seasoned and mature therapists that understand the challenges of separation to both you and the family. Do not wait until things get worse. Get help for the children quickly. They are vulnerable and easily traumatized even when they are not acting out.
Most people find that a counsellor provides the safe place and a safe person in which to process these difficult days. Life is tough. Some of the most difficult times are during the days of separation and divorce. These days are the time to reach out for help. We would be happy to be that help.